Finding Freedom with my Identity in Christ
- Gigi Molina
- Jun 27
- 6 min read
In the same week, on two different occasions, two coworkers mentioned that I had a nurturing nature and felt like a mother to them. They were unaware of how much that meant to me or that it brought tears to my eyes when they weren't looking. These women are wonderful, and I love supporting them, but that wasn't what made me emotional. For a long time, I wasn't a good mother to my own children. I went through the motions of providing for them, but lacked nurturing in the areas they needed most. My focus was not on the role God had given me as their mother, but rather on the idols I had made of alcohol and unhealthy relationships.
That same week that I heard those kind words from the ladies, I went to the grocery store and saw a woman in the parking lot sitting on the curb struggling to maintain her balance with her hands. One shoe was off but next to her foot and her purse was laying on the floor next to it. She appeared to be drunk or high and my heart broke for her. I did not know the woman or the extent of her drug or alcohol use, but I knew I had been where she was. Alone, wasted and hopeless.
Maybe I was not sitting on the edge of a curb in a grocery store parking lot, but there were many a drunken day where I made dumb decisions not thinking of what I was doing because there were no clear, sober thoughts in my head. Even when I was sober, no matter what I did or how hard I tried the thoughts that dominated me were getting another drink.
Again I was crying that week, this time in that grocery store parking lot. I cried as I prayed for the salvation of that woman and for God to save her like He saved me. Part of me wanted to go pray over her, but I did not want to scare her with my sobbing so I sat in the car and prayed. I prayed for her life and for the life that God saved me from. I thanked Him for all of the transformations He has made in my life that has affected those around me, including the children I had not been a great mother too. The Lord reminded me that day as I sat there crying that I was not that person anymore. My identity was not in alcoholism or the other part of me that the enemy had tried to claim my identity with as well - same sex relationships.
June is gay Pride month and in the Milwaukee area where I live the "Pride" flags are raised high. Reminders for me of that part of my past. It is not something I shy away from talking about because everything I went through brought me to where God wanted me to be but up until this time, I always talked about alcoholism more. That is where God led my speech and my writings. People needed to hear about how the strongholds of addiction can be broken because God did it for me and He could do it for them too. But now God has led me to speak on another piece of me that needs to be heard too.
Last week, I participated in an inspiring prophetic call with a faith-based professional community of women I recently joined, known as FEW. The founder, Kim, a remarkable woman of God, shared that she felt the Lord revealed to her that I am to be a "mother to the nations." While I understand this doesn't necessarily mean I am like Sarah, Abraham's wife from the Bible, or even a global evangelist, it reassures me that the part of me that doubted my abilities as a mother will be used for His purpose. I am now destined to "mother" those who need me.
Following the call and reflecting on Kim's words, I realized that God was telling me that there are more parts of me I need to share, and I should not be concerned about offending others or being judged. There are aspects of myself that Jesus has healed, which need to be shared so that others who are suffering can also find healing. He intends to use more of my experiences for His purpose.
There is someone who needs to hear this: even if you have been living in a same-sex lifestyle for a long time and feel trapped by that identity, which the enemy set up and the world supports, Jesus loves you. He desires something different for you. All you need to do is open your heart to Him. The Bible says not to make promises you can't keep, but I can assure anyone of this - a life with Christ is the most wonderful thing that can happen to you.
Just as each person experiencing addiction has a unique journey regarding how they arrived there and why they struggle to leave that path, the same applies to those living same-sex lifestyles. A big part in my journey with alcoholism and all my bad relationships (men and women) was the desire for love, stemming from childhood issues. This longing led me to cross boundaries, causing pain to those I loved when I "came out" and limiting my social circle to people who were "like" me or understood me. Yet, God can use anyone to reach out to you. In my case, He used one of my gay best friends to introduce me to the home of the people who would become my spiritual parents. It was there that I discovered worship, participated in my first Bible studies, and spoke in tongues for the first time—all thanks to the invitation from a gay friend.
During my journey with Christ, I lost that gay friend and others who couldn't comprehend my transformation into a sober, straight, Jesus-loving woman. I promised that a life with Christ is the best choice, but it's not the simplest. God never promised in His Word that it would be easy or that everyone would approve of our decisions. What He did promise is His love for us, and that we must love others.
It is not love as understood in the world, where attraction and love are mixed, leading one to believe they must pursue attraction as "love." Rather, it is the kind of love that honors others and aligns with God's desires for them. It is the love that honors ourselves and aligns with God's desires for us. It is the love that comes from our adoration for Him and our desire to please Him.
Your journey might be different, with your story being more or less painful. There are parts of our stories that hurt or that we wish had never happened because we made mistakes due to confusion from that awful enemy, Satan. Yet, these parts are still what complete the masterpieces that God has uniquely created in each of us. He granted us free will, and many of us have made poor choices. However, I stand by the promise that living with God is the best decision we can make. This is because He loves us unconditionally and forgives us, regardless of the severity of our sins. His love gives us freedom, and if He did it for me, He can do it for anyone.
Five years ago, on this day (June 27), I was baptized, marking the start of my new life with Christ and a transformation that can only be attributed to God, as anyone who knew me before would find it unbelievable. Yet, here I am, writing this blog to share the marvelous works of Jesus. Ironically, this is also the same weekend as the gay pride celebrations in Chicago, an event I frequently attended. Coincidence? Not with God. He knew my transformation would begin on the very weekend associated with the identity I once believed was mine.
Let your transformation begin. Open your heart to Him and let Him reveal to you the person He has created you to be. I promise you, it's the best thing you could ever do.
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT)
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